Beneath the Anxiety

Anxiety often feels like it arrives out of nowhere — a racing heart in the middle of the night, a knot in the stomach before a meeting, a restless mind that refuses to quiet down.

But in my work, I’ve noticed a pattern: beneath the surface of that anxiety, there’s often something unsaid.

The Underwater Current

Think of anxiety like the waves you see on the surface of the ocean — choppy, unpredictable, hard to control. It’s easy to focus on the waves themselves: the symptoms, the sensations, the tension.

But under those waves, there’s often a strong current: emotions that have been held back, ignored, or even hidden from ourselves. Sadness we didn’t want to feel. Anger we were afraid to express. Grief we didn’t have space to process.

These unspoken emotions don’t disappear just because we don’t name them. Instead, they can build up pressure, and anxiety becomes the signal that something beneath the surface needs our attention.

In Therapy: Naming the Unnamed

I’ve sat with clients who come in certain they “just” have anxiety. But as we talk, stories emerge:

• The frustration they swallow at work to avoid conflict.

• The heartbreak they never told anyone about.

• The fear they mask with a busy schedule.

When we start to put words to those feelings — to speak them out loud, even in the safety of the therapy room — the anxiety often begins to shift. It’s as if the pressure valve has been released.

Naming an emotion doesn’t make it magically vanish, but it allows us to understand it, hold it with compassion, and decide what it needs.

On Stage: When the Story Tells Itself

This connection isn’t limited to therapy. I’ve seen it with TED speakers, too. Sometimes, the talk they think they want to give is polished and well-structured, but it feels… flat. Then, in conversation, they tell me about a personal moment they’ve never shared before — one that’s raw and real.

Suddenly, their shoulders drop. Their voice changes. And I can feel the room quiet, even if it’s just the two of us.

That’s what happens when unspoken emotions find their voice. The story comes alive — and so does the speaker.

Giving Emotions Their Voice

Anxiety is not a flaw or a failure. It’s a messenger. And often, the message is this:

Something inside you needs to be seen and heard.

That might mean acknowledging sadness you’ve minimized, expressing anger in a healthy way, or letting grief have the space it deserves. It might mean sharing your story — in therapy, with a trusted friend, or even with an audience.

Because when emotions are spoken, they don’t have to shout through anxiety to get your attention.

A Gentle Invitation

If you live with anxiety, try asking yourself:

• What might I be feeling that I haven’t yet named?

• Who feels safe enough to hear it?

Speaking our truth — whether in a quiet room or under bright lights — can be one of the most healing acts we give ourselves. And sometimes, it’s the very thing that allows the waves to calm.

*Image by Alexandra Haynak from Pixabay